Salam Ahmed, - Sometimes, in English, the form of limerick(or similar) may be used very beautifully, - it's more flexible than traditional stanza yet it allows for some structure, melody, rhyme, and style. Otherwise the risk is to sink into a big field of words and not being sure where is the opening, where is the ending, where is punch line or where is a nicely rounded phrase that will be well remembered by the audience. I am Eduard, greeting you from Canada!
The two friends
Thanks! ❤ | ||
thanked 12 times |
1. | No Hay Novedad |
2. | Los Dos Amigos |
3. | Una página más |
1. | Corner the market |
MY TRY:
There lived two friends in Mapimi,
Who decided to rob Guanacevi .
But they are not from oquis,
So they took along couple of horses,
Two amigos from puebla Mapimi.
Their horses: one dark, one too shiny:
One brought rags, and the other brought money..
Also, batteries and tools,
To detrack railroad course,
Cut the nails, that's what they were planning... and so on, it's my way of joking having fun on Sunday)0
Hello Eduard, greetings from Egypt, I'm Ahmed
Thank you very much for your help, of course your translation is more stylish and fun than mine but I'm trying to deliver honest, word by word, accurate translations to serve the educational role of this site, which makes me sometimes disregard the conventional structure, but I promise I'll do my best to improve my work in the future
Hi Ahmed! You are doing well! I have been to Egypt (Hurghada and Luxor) last year. I can tell you one point, pay attention to orthography, the use of dots, commas etc. For example, you put comma here "These were, two friends", but you don't need it in English. Sometimes, you actually need to put some feature in English even if it's absent from original text. You are doing a good job! Good luck!
Thanks bro, good observation
From Egypt with love, Tito