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  • The Divine Comedy

    A lady of a certain age • Victory for the Comic Muse

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Back in the day you had been part of the smart set
You'd holidayed with kings, dined out with starlets
From London to New York, Cap Ferrat to Capri
In perfume by Chanel, and clothes by Givenchy
 
You sipped Camparis with David and Peter
At Noel's parties by Lake Geneva
Scaling the dizzy heights of high society
Armed only with a chequebook and a family
tree
 
You chased the sun around the Côte d'Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you on your own and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age
 
And if a nice young man would buy you a drink
You'd say with a conspiratorial wink
"You wouldn't think that I was seventy"
And he'd say "No, you couldn't be!"
 
You had to marry someone very very rich
So that you might be kept in the style to which
You had all of your life been accustomed to
But that the socialists had taxed away from you
 
You gave him children, a girl and a boy
To keep your sanity a nanny was employed
And when the time came they were sent away
Well that was simply what you did in those days
 
You chased the sun around the Côte d'Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you on your own and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age
 
And if a nice young man would buy you a drink
You'd say with a conspiratorial wink
"You wouldn't think that I was sixty-three"
And he'd say "No, you couldn't be!"
 
Your son's in stocks and bonds and lives back in Surrey
Flies down once in a while, leaves in a hurry
Your daughter never finished her finishing school
Married a strange young man of whom you don't approve
 
Your husband's hollow heart gave out one Christmas Day
He left the villa to his mistress in Marseille
And so you come here, to escape your little flat
Hoping that someone will fill your glass and let you chat about how
 
You chased the sun around the Côte d'Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you all alone and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age
 
And if a nice young man would buy you a drink
You'd say with a conspiratorial wink
"You wouldn't think that I was fifty-three"
And he'd say "No, you couldn't be!"
 

 

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