BlackSea4ever
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 19:40
Every line has mistakes. If nobody helps, I will free up in the next few hours and will PM
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Phil Ambro la 2019-06-03
Mohamed Zaki , An attempt at Rhyming in Russian, changing the literal translation ever so slightly. And failing. LOL. But, I persist anyway. My apologies.
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BlackSea4ever
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 19:40
Every line has mistakes. If nobody helps, I will free up in the next few hours and will PM
Phil Ambro
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 19:43
Awe! And I tried so hard. I did find a few typos after publishing. But, it's so disappointing. I may never understand Russian at all. :(
BlackSea4ever
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 23:32
Do not despair. Do your best. We cheer for you.
Igeethecat
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 19:57
Don’t get upset, look:
Необычное чувство нахлынуло вдруг,
Всё прекрасно, что видно вокруг.
В небе ни облачка, солнце в глазах,
И не удивлюсь, если это в мечтах
Phil Ambro
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 20:22
Well, I'm not all that upset with my inability to Rhyme in Russian. I'm not fluent, that's a given. I'm still upset that I can't get the grammar right.
I would like if someone else did a version that makes sense in Russian. Even though, apparently this song was never popular there. Even in Soviet times, The Carpenters were as controversial as toothpaste. LOL.
Igeethecat
Luni, 03/06/2019 - 21:47
Phil, у нас в Совке и пасты зубной не было, мы порошком зубы чистили. ;(
I don’t know how it is going to be in English - tooth powder?
I posted my attempt, BTW
Phil Ambro
Marţi, 04/06/2019 - 02:58
Actually, yes! It's "tooth powder". LOL. Old time stuff. It wasn't popular by the time I was born, but my mom and dad used it. It's still around, but hard to find in the USA. I guess we are just too lazy to add the water to it, and make it "paste" anymore. Still, I use baking soda and hydrogen-peroxide to brush my teeth most the time. I smoke, drink Coca-Cola, coffee and red wine. That means toothpaste isn't good enough to keep my teeth white-ish.
But, I do remember the great "toothpaste controversy" of 1974! It was carnage! Bodies everywhere! "Oh! THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!" {Footnote: This is the exact quote the radio announcer used when the zeppelin HINDENBURG burst into flames in front of him, during a live radio broadcast. It's still used by old people like me for comical effect, although young people don't understand the reference. Most don't even know what a zeppelin is.}
BTW, if you've ever seen The Carpenters, you'll see that Karen, the singer, needed A LOT of tooth paste or powder or both. :)
Here they are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDPMmaHWj1I
Pinchus
Marţi, 04/06/2019 - 22:28
Фил, несколько финальных правок.
>В небе ни облаков
В небе ни облака (или "В небе нет облаков")
>Всё, что я хотела бы для меня
Всё, что я хотела бы для себя (и рифма будет лучше)
>это твоя любовь удачи
"это твоя любовь" или "это твоя любовь принесла удачу"
>Кажется, что даже ветер со мной знакомился.
"Кажется, что даже ветер со мной знаком" или "Кажется, что даже ветер со мной знакомится" или "Кажется, что даже ветер знает мое имя"
>На уме просто одно желание
На уме только одно желание
>до конца дня я надеюсь найти.
Когда день закончится, я надеюсь,
>ты со мной рук в руке навсегда.
ты со мной рука в руке (или "рука об руку") навсегда.
>Все, что мне нужно, будет там, если ты у меня.
Все, что мне нужно, будет моим, если ты со мной.