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Оригинальный текст
Перевод
Teufelswerk
Devil's Work
What's happened with our world?
Is this still the world we want to live in?
What's happened with our world?
Fear is rising with each new day
What happened?
How could it come so far
That man loses himself?
What happened?
Why does stupidity rule?
Why is humanity destroying itself now?
This is all the work of the devil
No God could be so cruel
This all is devil's work
Rain of fire falls on our world
This is all the work of the devil
No God could be so cruel
This is all the work of the devil
And a new era begins
Today is the first day
Of the rest of our lives
How it should continue?
Fear rules in our lives
Fear threatens our existence
To which God can we still pray?
Which God is still listening to us?
Our fate is written in blood
Because we don't do anything about it?
This is all the work of the devil
No God could be so cruel
This all is devil's work
Rain of fire falls on our world
This all is devil's work
No God could be so cruel
This is all the work of the devil
And a new era begins
And a new time begins
And a new time begins
This is all the work of the devil
No God could be so cruel
This all is devil's work
Rain of fire falls on our world
This is all the work of the devil
No God could be so cruel
This all is devil's work
And a new era begins
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Детали перевода
SpiritOfLightдобавлено 13 Фев 2020 - 14:23
Комментарий:
This is my first translation from German to English so please don't be too harsh.
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Blutengel TOP 3
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SpiritOfLightРедактор The Little Weird Light
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РоднойЛатышский
СвободноАнглийский
ПромежуточныйРусский
НачинающийНемецкий
7396
Комментарии 8
Hello,
I see you've requested proofreading for this song, so I've made some recommendations below. Most are related to grammar and word order. If you'd like a more detailed explanation on any of my suggestions, feel free to ask.
What has happened with our world? --> What's happened with our world?
I recommend using contractions when translating modern rock music so it reflects how English is used in modern times. Not using contractions will make it sound very formal and old-fashioned, it's not how a band like Blutengel would sound in English.
Is it still the same world we want to live in? --> Is this still the world we want to live in?
What has happened with out world? --> What's happened with our world?
(Just a typo with "out" and I added a contraction, same as above)
How could it come this far --> How could it come so far
("this far" would be correct if this was the end of the sentence, but since it continues with the next line, it's "so far that...")
Why stupidity rules? --> Why does stupidity rule?
(Verb tense)
Why humanity is destroying itself now? --> Why is humanity destroying itself now?
(Word order - verb goes second in a question)
This all is devil's work --> This is all the devil's work (Or: This is all the work of the devil)
(Word order, and an article is needed - this line appears in multiple places)
No God can be so cruel --> This isn't technically incorrect, but it sounds strange because it's not a natural way of phrasing it, it would be more common to say "No God could be so cruel."
(This line appears in multiple places)
And a new time begins --> And a new era begins
("A new time" would refer to a specific time (8:00, etc), this is referring to new period of time, this line appears in multiple places)
From the rest of our lives --> Of the rest of our lives
Which God can we still pray? --> To which God can we still pray?
Hello,
Yes, I did, because it's the first time when I did translation from one foreign language to another foreign language.
Your explanations are very detailed and I really appreciate that you pointed out my mistakes. Thank you!
There's only one thing I would like to know. Are there any other mistakes besides these? I mean mistakes like translating words incorrectly.
You're very welcome! I don't see any other mistakes or incorrect words. Everything I mentioned above is pretty minor details, the meaning still came through. So overall, this is a really good translation considering that you're not a native speaker of either language. :)
I have translated a few songs by this band and their lyrics tend to be fairly simple and straightforward, so if you plan to do more German-->English translations, they're a good band to start with.
I'm glad to hear that, despite of my terrible mistakes, the meaning still came through and my translation is really good. Thank you! :)
I've noticed that too about their lyrics and, although it wasn't exactly my plan to do so, I think I could do more translations from German to English.
They weren’t terrible mistakes at all, just minor details. ;)
That's good, because I think my mistakes are terrible, but I guess I'm criticizing myself too much.
Yes, don't be too hard on yourself. Mistakes are how we learn and everyone makes them. ;)
Okay, I'll try to not criticize myself too much and thank you! :)