Last Christmas
SofiaUnicorn , 2018-12-26
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MichaelNaНа прошлое Рождество
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Brat
Чтв, 03/01/2019 - 07:20
Back again, there's nothing about 'double' shyness in the original. She may be shy, indeed, but then you should remove "twice" in the translation because it makes little sense in Russian. You may say "Ты меня обидел, теперь я стесняюсь и держу дистанцию" - it will be pretty close to what is meant in the lyrics.
Also
поймешь мой взгляд -> поймаешь мой взгляд, but the actual meaning is that he's still very attractive for her (a kind of idiom here, again) - so it will be something like "Но я всё ещё не могу отвести от тебя взгляд".
С примечанием, содержащим: «Я люблю тебя» -> С запиской: «Я люблю тебя» -> otherwise this "примечание" would look a way too official to native speakers. :D
Moreover, you'd better check the rest of your translations or just toggle the 'proofreading' button there because most of them are at risk of being unpublished by some zealous mods.
SofiaUnicorn
Чтв, 03/01/2019 - 11:58
Thank you, but this text is translated by a professional!
Brat
Чтв, 03/01/2019 - 12:56
Perhaps, that professional migh have been working with papers inscribing "I love you" across their corners... :)
BTW, if the translation is not yours you should mention this in the source field (if it's been already published somewhere) or at least put a note in submitter comments section.
SofiaUnicorn
Птн, 04/01/2019 - 16:01
Ok, thank you
Once bitten then twice shy is an idiom. That's why it should be translated like "Обжегшись на молоке, я теперь дую на воду - сторонюсь тебя".