Mon ami Pierre,
Vous avez fait un bon travail, merci.
Pourtant, la langue française et anglaise ne s'aiment pas une l'autre.
Ma suggestion:
Pour aboutir à un meilleur rythme, libérez-vous de quelques contraintes du texte d’origine.
Par example:
Noyés de bleu sous le ciel grec > Basking in blue (beneath) in the Greek sky
Amitiés,
Valéry
✕
Translation
The children of Piraeus
Basking in blue beneath the Greek sky
One boat, then two, then three
are sailing off singing.
Pecking at the sky,
One bird, then two, then three
are making good weather1
In the alleys, with a sharp crack
one shutter, then two, then three
are slammed by the wind.
And merrily with
a child, then two, then three
they dance in circles2
(chorus : )
I love so much
this port far away
basking in the golden
light of the sun
I love so much
all the angel faces
under orange caps
of the Piraeus children
I dream of having one day
One child, then two, then three
playing as they do.
Always along the banks
One daring sailor, then two, then three
take a stroll.
Our love will become
one, ten, a thousand loves
basking in blue.
And our children will become lads
who will one day find happiness
in other girl's arms.
(chorus)
- 1. the image is somewhat unusual in French. The only remote connection I can think of is the saying "une hirondelle ne fait pas le printemps" (seeing a single swallow is not enough to be sure spring has come) that can be read literaly as "a swallow does not make spring"
- 2. a "ronde" is a round dance, I deleted it to avoid repetition. The image of shutters dancing with children is somewhat strange in French too
Thanks! ❤ | ||
thanked 10 times |
Thanks Details:
User | Time ago |
---|---|
alain.chevalier | 5 years 9 months |
fivefortyfive | 6 years 9 months |
GalaxyEyes | 7 years 7 months |
xmohamed.ahmed | 9 years 4 months |
barsiscev | 11 years 2 days |
Valeriu Raut | 11 years 8 months |
Guests thanked 4 times
Submitted by Guest on 2012-09-11
Added in reply to request by Valeriu Raut
✕
Collections with "Les enfants du Pirée"
1. | Number One Hits in France (1960) |
Luis Mariano: Top 3
1. | Maite |
2. | Que sera, sera |
3. | C'est magnifique |
Idioms from "Les enfants du Pirée"
1. | Une hirondelle ne fait pas le printemps |
Comments
Hi! I read that's quite obscure the phrase" font du beau temps".
I remembered some madrigal of Renaissance with such a similar expression; later I did a research about, that confirmed what seemed to me:
To have/make/a good/nice time, in neo latin languages had a meaning like"to waste time , to lounge,to enjoy in some way of your free time".
It seems to be suitable to this text.
The source lyrics have been updated.
Please review your translation.
Thank you.
I found this song rather difficult to translate. Some images are a bit far-fetched and probably suffer in translation.