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LT → Hebrew → Yossi Banai → ערב עירוני → English
  • Yossi Banai
    Yossi Banai – ערב עירוני

    English translation

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Hebrew
Original lyrics

ערב עירוני

שקיעה ורודה בין הגגות
אספלט כחול מלמטה
עיני נשים נוגות, נוגות
אומרות לערב "למה באת?"
 
הפנסים פרחי העיר
מלבלבים באור ניחוח
אביב חשמל עצוב בהיר
משיכרונו אסור לברוח
 
הוא רק יתום ורק תמים
נולד לרגע ואיננו
בין הלילות והימים
הוא בא לזרוח בעינינו
 
בין הימים והלילות
לנאות מראה כחולים נלך נא
כל נשמותינו הבלות
שם דשא עשב תלחכנה
 
נפנוף שלום ילדה פתיה
את חיוכה נשא האוטו
מה שהיה ולא היה
נדמה כמו ישוב להיות עוד
 
כעת אני מאוד אחד
ומסתכל מאוד בשקט
איך הלבנה חולצת שד
מקיר הבית שמנגד
 
גופי נקטן ומתנמך
אבל ראשי כל כך גבוה
עד שאפילו אם אלך
לא אתבונן לאן אבואה
 
שקיעה ורודה על סף הרחוב
ורחוב כמנהרה של תכלת
מי שיגיע עד הסוף
ירצה לבכות מרוב תוחלת
 
שקיעה ורודה בין הגגות
אספלט כחול מלמטה
עיני נשים נוגות נוגות אומרות
לערב "למה באת?"
 
English
Translation

An Evening in the City

A rose sunset between the rooftops
blue asphalt from below
women's eyes mournful, mournful
saying to the evening "Why did you come?"
 
The lights are flowers of the city
blooming in the fragrant light
an electric spring sadly illuminated
from his drunkenness forbidden to flee
 
He is just an orphan and innocent
born for a moment and then departs
between the days and nights
he comes to shine in our eyes (x2)
 
Between the days and nights
befitting a blue appearance we will be pleased to follow
all our worn out souls
grass and hay to graze await there
 
A wave of hello a young girl
her smile is carried by the auto
what was and was not
seems as if it will return to be again
 
Now I am very much alone
and look deeply into the quiet
how the moon bares her breast
on the wall of the opposite house (x2)
 
My body has shrunk and sagged
but my head is still held high
even if i shall go
will not look to where i have come
 
A rose colored sunset at the end of the street
and a street like a tunnel of blue
whomever should arrive at the end
will want to cry out of an abundance of hope (x2)
 
A rose sunset between the rooftops
blue asphalt from below
women's eyes mournful, mournful, saying
to the evening "Why did you come?"
 
✕

Translations of "ערב עירוני (Erev ..."

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Comments
sanducusanducu    Sun, 21/06/2020 - 19:44

i love this song too. the verses are, i checked, by nathan alterman, considered to be THE israeli poet.
once again, you seem to view me as an authority, but when it comes to alterman, and what is more, in english, i'll have to ask you: have you looked into " ne sutor ultra crepidam", as i suggested you? it means : shoemaker, not above your sandals.
from a first reading it's a beautiful translation. i found one or two little inconsitencies*) with the text, but tomorrow i will read the poem more attentively.
*) כל נשמותינו הבלות
שם דשא עשב תלחכנה

תלחכנה= to graze, is what cows do, isn't it true. i found "to devore", "to lick".
הַבְלוּת שֵם נ' שטות, הבל, ריקנות. עוד (literary) folly, uselessness, unimportance
but also: בלות= tired, used,
now, don't think that i'm such a great hebrew linguist, i'm not. these are very rare words in the spoken language of today, like so many others in
poetry, so i went to the dictionairy.
p.s. how come your hebrew is so good, did you studied it in israel? some yeshive maybe?

sanducusanducu    Mon, 22/06/2020 - 11:23

1. " female eyes touch, touch" : female=נקבה; women is correct
"touch, touch": it comes not from "לגעת",or "לנוגות".
" נוגות, נוגות"= sad, gloomy
2. "The lights are flowers of the city": I would renounce the "are", not only because in hebrew it does not exists in present tense. when needed
in order to convey it, it is usual to use ", הם / הן", so in this case it would have been: פנסים "הם" פרחי העיר, which your translation would be
right.
"The lights, flowers of the city", or, "The lights - flowers of the city" is/are a better interpretation.
3. an electric spring sadly [illuminated] - maybe pale; bright, clear. i'd choose one of them, but who knows what alterman meaned by בהיר.
4. born for a moment and then "departs" - gone ? desappeared?
5. befitting a blue appearance [ we will be pleased to follow] - let as go, if you wish ?
6. " all our unimportant souls
grass and hay to graze await there" - see yesterday's comment.
7. "A wave of hello a [young] girl : פתיה = a gullible person, a naive person = maybe innocent girl.
8. "חולצת שד" - beautifully translated, but again, who knows. חולצת = uncovers, but also removes, then, שד = brest, but also devil, demon,
because there areno vowel dots. hallo, mr. alterman?
so, could it be that since the man is alone, estranged, solitary and given to black thoughts : how the moon takes away the demon...
i don't know.
9. will not look to where [i have] come - i will coome, future in the original.
10. " תוחלת" = (literary) expectation, hope, chance; expectancy.
will want to cry out of an abundance of hope - will want to cry out of such great a hope ?

this is all and you did a beatifull job. if my observations seam to you irrelevant, and i won't wander a bit, ignore them.
be well,
alex.

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   Mon, 22/06/2020 - 20:53

Thank you very much for the review Alex. I made some changes based on your thoughts and fixed the two glaring mistakes with נוגות, בלות and adjusted a few of the other ones. I will think about the others. As in Hebrew in English the idea of a poem can be inferred without direct expression and as such I often like to choose less words over more if the idea is conveyed.

I appreciate your help as always!

~Moshe משה

sanducusanducu    Mon, 22/06/2020 - 12:55

glad to help ( i'll ask to be inscribed on my stone when that time comes :-)

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   Mon, 22/06/2020 - 13:11

and why not! Your help will live forever or at least till the end of the internet as we know it :-)

sanducusanducu    Mon, 22/06/2020 - 20:44

in'shalah.
i have a question tough; did you try to ask for, or received other reviws beside mine?
i'm also genuinly intrigued ( and i'm not fishing for compliments) by the fact that you, a mother tongue english speaker and with an interest in poetry should consider the oppinions of somebody who's english is,obviously, not as good as yours, by far.

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   Mon, 22/06/2020 - 20:50

Hi Alex,

1) your English is fine!
2) you are a polite person which i am sorry to say is somewhat lacking in some of our co-passport holders at times.

Care to help me with כתם הפרי? Love that song.
~Moshe משה

TeSTaMeNTTeSTaMeNT    Mon, 22/06/2020 - 20:58

A Evening in the City --> An Evening in the City.

As the word of ''Evening'' is pronounced (IPS=ˈiːvnɪŋ''), you have to prefix ''N''

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   Mon, 22/06/2020 - 21:00
TeSTaMeNT wrote:

A Evening in the City --> An Evening in the City.

As the word of ''Evening'' is pronounced (IPS=ˈiːvnɪŋ''), you have to prefix ''N''

Thank you! I never said i was good at grammar :-)

See Alex i make mistakes in English also!

~Moshe משה

TeSTaMeNTTeSTaMeNT    Mon, 22/06/2020 - 21:03

I hate grammar, fella. Who can say that he doesn't make mistakes, ''I'm make mistakes also'' ;)

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   Mon, 22/06/2020 - 21:20

The only English classes I remember liking were the ones in which we read and discussed prose of some sort. I still see red when I see the word grammar lol.

TeSTaMeNTTeSTaMeNT    Mon, 22/06/2020 - 21:33

When I was a language student, my teachers was telling me that I was good at reading and vocabulary, but not good at grammar. There was a friend of me who was really good at grammar, he became a cook, and I did become a translator. Grammar is NOTHING but bullshit

sanducusanducu    Tue, 23/06/2020 - 10:55

ha, ha beeing a cook is a great thing. philosophy (and translation too) passes trough the stomach, to praphrase napoleon. it keeps grammar nerds and haters too, alive and happy. what will become a translator without a few nice kefte? a suculent and oh so sweet baklava for dessert?
speak nice of cooks and they'll take care of your grammar.

TeSTaMeNTTeSTaMeNT    Tue, 23/06/2020 - 11:04

LOL, You are god damn right. In the name of BAKLAVA and RAKI-BALIK!!!

silencedsilenced    Tue, 23/06/2020 - 11:14

Allow me to add a bit of French cheese and wine in sympathy.

TeSTaMeNTTeSTaMeNT    Tue, 23/06/2020 - 11:22

Sure, why the hell not, French cheese sounds delicious! Bring us some Comté, and decent Bordeaux Wines. And I will bring Ege Rakısı. Well it'll be the best feast ever!

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