Shmuel D
Thu, 25/02/2021 - 02:19
Hi
I want to thank you for the translation, it's very good.
But I have a little suggestion, and it is that you did not translated the phrase:
שערי הכלה, שערי התחלה
I also wanted to know if you help me understand it, I understand it as poetry ... but I'm not sure.
However, very good translation, thank you very much for it.
-- שלום
Moshe Kaye
Thu, 25/02/2021 - 02:31
שלום שמואל,
תודה! תיקנתי את זה.
חג פורים שמח!
~משה
Moshe Kaye
Thu, 25/02/2021 - 04:18
Please note i changed the English title and one line.. i am trying to find the best translation for this line:
סיבת הסיבות, עילת העילות
Please note
@Shmuel D
Please reference:
https://www.chabad.org/dailystudy/hayomyom.asp?tdate=10/19/2020
Any suggestions for improvements?
prime mover = creator of the universe i think
~Moshe
Shmuel D
Thu, 25/02/2021 - 05:44
I had not noticed that reference before, but yes, I think your interpretation is correct.
I honestly don't know how to improve it, but from what I understand, in my own words, I would say that the creator of the universe, the prime mover, the reason of reasons. All of these shares the same idea, right?
The one who designed reality, who drives the reality.
I think you're right, it looks better like this.
Moshe Kaye
Thu, 25/02/2021 - 12:33
Thank you. Your English is perfect!
MyLyricdeb1
Tue, 30/03/2021 - 13:08
חביב אדם שנברא בצלם should be translated as , Beloved is Man that was created in the image [of G-d]
MyLyricdeb1
Tue, 30/03/2021 - 13:11
Or possibly, Favored is Man.....(instead of Beloved), but that’s more awkward
minnieme
Sun, 04/04/2021 - 10:00
Here, I tweaked the places needing improvement. You did a great job, please integrate the changes I made.
Chorus:
Other than you...
We came out of Noah's Ark, to a different reality
Redeem the prisoners of power and those trapped in the net
also to accept the black and white, with all the colors of the rainbow
(Mishna Avot Chapter Gimel )
Favorite are humans created in G-d's image
-Just open for us
the gates of containment, the gates of beginning
since we don't have any other king...
Chorus:
Other than you...
Moshe Kaye
Sun, 04/04/2021 - 16:35
Thank you both. I made some changes based on your feedback. Please review. I prefer favored over beloved.
Ringmir
Fri, 21/06/2024 - 17:52
Nice work.
Hard work with Ishay’s songs because there are so many references and it’s often poetic/alluding to something hidden. That said, here’s what I think works with the spirit of the lyrics better:
We came out of Noah’s ark- this is a play on words. Noach means ease, so this is meant to convey we came out of our place of leisure, into a different reality. (Note that the original says “yatzanu miteivat HAnoach” not “yatzanu miteivat Noach”)
Josh S
Tue, 10/12/2024 - 04:11
Good job, and shkoach for all the work you put in. A few small tweaks, but they matter; sometimes a word can be translated in a way that's technically not wrong, but in context of the song, it loses some of the sense of the lyrics, or it just sounds a bit clumsy in English.
1. אין ספק אני בטוח
1. "THERE IS no doubt—I'm sure, in the end the path will be clear."
(hard to explain, but there's a distinct difference between saying "No doubt I'm sure" and "There's no doubt—I'm sure".
At the very least some punctuation—a long dash or a comma before "I'm sure" helps)
2. שאין לנו מלך..
2. *FOR* we don't have any king… other than you.
"For"—not "that". "Since" is a little better, but "for" is the most lyrical; 'since' is a little technical-sounding.
3. ורק לך נאה להודות,
3. and only to you is it proper to *GIVE THANKS*, for all the days and nights
"…proper to give thanks"… not "only to you is it proper to thank"—that's not perfect English.
4. "Mishna Avot Chapter Gimel—"man is precious, for he's created in the image…"
Orig. translation says "favored are people created in G-d's image (Mishna Avot Chapter Gimel)—that's not a 100% precise translation, and it doesn't sound lyrical, either.
Also, there doesn't seem to be any translation for
שערי הכלה, שערי התחלה
Perhaps "the gates of the bride, the gates of beginnings"… ?
I'm not 100% sure of the original context & meanings of these phrases.
Hatzlacha!
Papi Marco
** Comments and suggestions for improvement are welcome. I review and update my translations regularly so please do revisit them periodically. I would appreciate it if you would click the "thanks" button above **