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    Barbara

    À mourir pour mourir → Engels vertaling→ Engels

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À mourir pour mourir

À mourir pour mourir
Je choisis l'âge tendre
Et partir pour partir
Je ne veux pas attendre
Je ne veux pas attendre
 
J'aime mieux m'en aller
Du temps que je suis belle
Qu'on ne me voie jamais
Fanée sous ma dentelle
Fanée sous ma dentelle
 
Et ne venez pas me dire
Qu'il est trop tôt pour mourir
Avec vos aubes plus claires
Vous pouvez vous faire lanlaire
 
J'ai vu l'or et la pluie
Sur des forêts d'automne
Les jardins alanguis
La vague qui se cogne
La vague qui se cogne
 
Et je sais, sur mon cou
La main nue qui se pose
Et j'ai su, à genoux
La beauté d'une rose
La beauté d'une rose
 
Et tant mieux s'il y en a
Qui, les yeux pleins de lumière
Ont préféré les combats
Pour aller se faire lanlaire
 
Au jardin du bon Dieu
Ça n'a plus d'importance
Qu'on s'y couche amoureux
Ou tombé pour la France
Ou tombé pour la France
 
Il est d'autres combats
Que le feu des mitrailles
On ne se blesse pas
Qu'à vos champs de bataille
Qu'à vos champs de bataille
 
Et ne comptez pas sur moi
S'il faut soulager mes frères
Et, pour mes frères, ça ira
J'ai fait ce que j'ai pu faire
 
Si c'est peu, si c'est rien
Qu'ils décident eux-mêmes
Je n'espère plus rien
Mais je m'en vais sereine
Mais je m'en vais sereine
 
Sur un long voilier noir
La mort pour équipage
Demain, c'est l'au revoir
Je quitte vos rivages
Je quitte vos rivages
 
Car mourir pour mourir
Je ne veux pas attendre
Et partir pour partir
J'ai choisi l'âge tendre
 
Vertaling

If I must die

If I must die
I’d rather die at my tender age
If I must depart
It'd better be quick
It'd better be quick
 
I’d rather go
When I am beautiful
So that no one ever sees me
Withered beneath my lacy lingerie
Withered beneath my lacy lingerie
 
And don’t tell me
That It’s too early to die
You and your brighter dawns
Can go to heck
 
I’ve seen the gold and the rain
Spreading over the autumn forests
The slumbering gardens
The beating wave
The beating wave
 
And I know, on my neck
The lying naked hand
And on my knees, I knew
The beauty of a rose
The beauty of a rose
 
That’s great if there are some
Who, with their eyes full of light,
Preferred the battles
For going to heck
 
In God’s garden
It does not matter anymore
If we lie there in love
Or if fallen in the service of France
Or if fallen in the service of France
 
There are different fights
Other than the hails of bullets
The only places we get hurt in are not
Your battlefields
Your battlefields
 
And don’t count on me
If I must take a weight off my brothers’ minds
And, for my brothers, that won’t be a problem
I did what I could
 
If it’s little, if it’s nothing
Let them decide by themselves
I hope nothing more
but I go peacefully
but I go peacefully
 
On a long black sailing ship
With Death for a crew
tomorrow I shall depart
I'm leaving your shores
I'm leaving your shores
 
If I must die
I don’t want to wait for death
and if I must depart
I’d rather leave at my tender age
 
✕
Barbara: Top 3
1.Dis, quand reviendras-tu ?Ondertitels
2.L'aigle noirOndertitels
3.GöttingenOndertitels
Gegeven reacties
JadisJadis    Woe, 25/11/2020 - 17:35

Nice. Some details :

That’s great if there are some
Who, with their eyes full of light,
(2 verses)

Ou tombé pour la France > I would say "Or if we fell for France" ? (not sure)

On ne se blesse pas / Qu'à vos champs de bataille > You don't hurt yourself only on your battlefields

Qu'ils décident eux-mêmes > Let them decide by themselves

La mort pour équipage > With Death as a crew

Perhaps we should ask [@silenced] for confirmation.

arc-en-cielarc-en-ciel
   Woe, 25/11/2020 - 18:05

Merci Jadis for proofreading 🌹😊

silencedsilenced    Woe, 25/11/2020 - 21:35

You got the gist of it, only minor details to fix.
I agree with most of Philippe's remarks, except for

"tombé pour la France" -> "fell for France" would rather mean "fell in love with France" :)
I'd say "fallen in the service of France". It's at least used in the UK ("Lance corporal John Doe fell in the service of his King & Country..."')

On ne se blesse pas / Qu'à vos champs de bataille -> Your battlefields are not the only place we get hurt
Sounds simpler that way. The French is fine but doesn't seem to translate well.

death as a crew -> fine by me, or "death for a crew" as an alternative

And I'd be interested in Philippe's opinion on my other remarks too, especially the last one

now for a bit of extra nitpicking:

I do’t want -> typo

Je ne veux pas attendre -> Not sure a direct translation is as clear as in French
"It'd better be quick" maybe?

Qu'on ne me voie jamais -> I rather understand it as "pour qu'on...", "pour" can be skipped sometimes.
so that no one ever sees me....

too soon to die -> "early" would work too I guess. I don't really know which would be best.
Maybe both are equally good, I can't see a difference. What do you think?

lanlaire -> TBH I didn't know this word, but it's officially in the dictionary of the Academy :)
I'd say "go to heck" is a pretty good equivalent here, using an euphemism for "hell".
"avec..." would be like "you and your...", something like "you and your brighter dawns can go to heck (for all I care)"

In the autumn forests -> "over", and maybe "I've seen gold and rain *spreading* over..." or some similar verb?

sluggish gardens -> that's rather pejorative, in that case it's more like "sleeping/sleepy" in an aesthetically pleasant way. "slumbering" or "languid"?

se pose -> that would be "that settles" or "settling" (a movement), a lying hand would be "qui (s')est posée", or rather simply "posée"

Et tant mieux s'il y en a... > missing line break

For going to hell -> yup, that's the idea, or "heck" if you want the euphemism

Ça n'a plus d'importance -> [the gardens...] no longer matter / don't matter anymore (or "any more" in UK spelling)

le feu des mitrailles -> "the hails of bullets" or something?
That French sounds a bit odd to me. "the fire of the hails of bullets", word for word, unless "mitraille" is meant as "shrapnel" (a kind of gun shell), but that's more of a technical term.

Demain, c'est l'au revoir -> "Tomorrow I shall depart" or something.
I read it as a (mocking) way of sounding solemn. What do you think, Philippe?

and the cat got the verb in the last line.

arc-en-cielarc-en-ciel
   Do, 26/11/2020 - 13:33

Thanks for taking the time to proofread my translation 🙏🌹 I just modified it according to your suggestions.

silencedsilenced    Do, 26/11/2020 - 13:37

My pleasure. I'd be glad for Philippe's second opinion though, I might have misinterpreted a line or two.

CharlesVCharlesV    Woe, 26/05/2021 - 20:21

just a quick contribution on "le feu des mitrailles". Yes, this is exactly "shrapnel", as "mitraille" also means small bits of metal (closely related to "ferraille"). "Bullets" works too though, if nicer in English (for which I am not the best judge) -- largely conveys the same idea.
One more thing: here the use of "feu" (fire) is very idiomatic, as in the sentence "aller au feu", which means go into battle, go into combat or something like that (not sure of the English equivalent). "feu" = combat, battle, action (in the military sense)

JadisJadis    Do, 26/11/2020 - 15:22

Ha ha, Pierre pointed his nose and carried out a heavy bombing all over the place. Sorry for that, whe shall invite him no more. :)
Anyway, the translation looks quite fine to me by now.
About "demain c'est l'au revoir", it sounds a little weird in French, but it's rather understandable, it means "tomorrow I'll say goodbye" or something alike. I don't find it especially solemn or mocking, except of course that she refers to Death.
 
True, the verb seems to be lacking in the last verse. Perhaps :
 
and if I must depart
I’d rather leave at my tender age.
 

silencedsilenced    Do, 26/11/2020 - 15:41

Yup, that's me: Pierre "carpet bombing" the silenced.

arc-en-cielarc-en-ciel
   Do, 26/11/2020 - 16:01

Ha ha, No Pierre is always welcome ☺️☺️
When my translations are proofread by you both, I can easily cancel the proofreading request😊😉

Sunny FlowerSunny Flower    Do, 26/11/2020 - 18:56

I'm very shy, but very outspoken... sorry!
I was so nervous.
He looks very young for me...
When l first met him, l was so happy.
l thought he liked me. And l thought he was funny. I wanted to talk to him.
He is very fit & cute face.😻😍

CharlesVCharlesV    Ma, 24/05/2021 - 15:30

Nice translation.
A contribution to this great conversation:
"Tombé pour la France" is adequately translated I would think ("fallen in the service of France"). Technically and in fact very officially, it means "killed in action". It is a phrase you see on the "monuments aux morts" in many French villages, which list those killed in action during WW I and II. It has a sense of sacrifice and homage to it. So "fallen" is good I think.

oh by the way, It does not mean fallen in love at all, I'm afraid

CharlesVCharlesV    Woe, 26/05/2021 - 12:46

Hum, not being a native English speaker, I cannot be sure, but "tombé pour la France" is dark enough. And it's the same image of course ("tomber" = to fall).

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