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The Collective Mind-Set

The collective mind-set1 always smears us like soot.
When I reach to shake hands, I'll be tripped by a foot.2
I look in the eyes and I met by a stare,
Where higher than heads someone's buttocks would glare.
The sunrise was red, would a sunset be sienna?3
 
Locked together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
Held together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
 
There all limbs are so frail, but our lands are enormous.
There all trains were derailed to give way to the columns.
Some words saved for kitchens and some for street corners.4
There eagles were ditched in favor of broilers.5
And even when I'm kissing I follow drill orders…
 
[From those who are....]
Locked together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
Held together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
 
We have faith that all faith is abolished.6
We would work, but all works were demolished.7
The poor are praying, are trying to plead
That their penniless lives would be lives guaranteed.
 
You could play your trumpet but strictly close-lipped.8
And the only tune you produce is "Retreat".
And among your guests whom you going to greet,
There will be the ones whom you don't want to meet:9
 
[They also are…]
Locked together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
Held together with the same chain,
All are in for the same...
 
There all women are searching, but they’re finding their oldness.
There exhaustion is viewed as a measure of progress.
You will find no usurpers in the rooms walled with leather.
There the first and the last are undistinguished together.
And they all are so tired in the identical measure10
 
[To be…]
Locked together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
Held together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
 
Locked together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
Held together with the same chain,
All are in for the same gain.
 
Locked together…
 
  • 1. The alternative title is these two words; hence the translation of them is critical. Dictionaries suggest that it should be a “collective responsibility”, but imho this juridical term is not adequate there, since this song is about relations within the ideologically corrupted state. The message there is more negative and is closer to the meaning of “You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours”.
  • 2. "elbow" in the original;
    approximate translation: "but someone throws an elbow"
  • 3. You will see "pink sunset" in the left column, but the initial lyrics contained "brown sunset", with a message that a brown (fascist) state would follow the red (communist) state.
  • 4. a ref. to the KGB activity. In a state controlled by the secret police, one could express freely only at home, but not on the streets.
  • 5. Heraldic symbols of the Russian Empire, the double-headed eagles, are being compared to frozen chickens imported from the USA. In shortage of local skinny and unhealthy looking chickens, imported "broilers" were actually welcomed. Later imported chicken leg quarters became colloquially known as The Legs of Bush.
  • 6. This line is a bit ambiguous in Russian, but it is a clear ref. to the atheistic principles of the Soviet Union.
  • 7. a ref. to the so-called Era of Stagnation, characterized by low work productivity and by lack of produced goods. It started during Brezhnev's reign and ended with Gorbachev's Perestroika.
  • 8. a ref. to the suppressed political freedoms of speech, expression, etc.
  • 9. another ref. to the KGB, a secret police of the Soviet Union.
  • 10. There could be different interpretations of this stanza, but the message is clear - the society is rotten from the top down.
Russian
Original lyrics

Скованные одной цепью

Click to see the original lyrics (Russian)

Translations of "Скованные одной ..."

English #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10
Serbian #1, #2

Translations of covers

Comments
Vera JahnkeVera Jahnke    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 12:39

Excellent! (although my English is not perfect at all). You keep rhythm and rhyme, and your comments are very helpful to understand the text.

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 16:28
Vera JahnkeVera Jahnke    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 18:25

I hope I can move my mouse... ;)

silencedsilenced    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 20:45

This is good! The song is great too. I had sadly overlooked this band, but I shall have a closer look now.

Now for the cloud of French DCA:

I met by the stare -> "a stare" (unless you want to evoke "the communist citizen's famous stare" or something :) )
Also there is something wrong with the passive/active form: "and [I] am met by..." or "and meet..."

Where taller than heads... -> "higher" ?
Buttocks are risen higher than heads in abject submission, but people don't grow taller buttocks :D
It would be worth a footnote though, the image is not that obvious.

would a sunset be sienna? -> fine by me.

some words for kitchens, while others – for corners -> On this side of the language border, a dash a verb does not make ;)
"some words are for kitchens, others for street corners" or something ?

broilers -> excellent. The footnote is priceless.

The will be the ones whom you don't want to meet ->typo on "there".
That still makes 11 syllables and looks a bit stretched.
"some of them are the kind you'd rather not meet" or something like that?

they’re finding their oldness -> "find no mate but oldness" or something?

И не меньше последних устали быть может быть -> "the first being perhaps no less tired of living than the last" ?

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 22:48
silencedsilenced    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 23:40

Don't even get me started on what the 80's were like. The most calamitous decade of the century, if you ask me. I'm not even kidding. The price we're about to pay for the suicidal ideas that were sown back then will very likely outmatch both world wars by a few orders of magnitude. I'm sure Greta would agree, and she didn't even take peak oil into account.
For me, the 80's were a continuous celebration of ruthless selfishness and an endeavour of mass decerebration, in the shadow of strangely shaped clouds1. What a way to spend one's youth...
Now you've done it. Where did I put these damn pills again? Raaah !!! Aaaargh.... !!!!

Now seriously folks.

2) I think "glaring buttocks" are a bit hard to picture :)
The Russian just says buttocks are raised higher than heads, right?
Maybe the image would be made clearer with "heads hang so low that buttocks stick out" (like the proverbial sore thumb!) or something like that. I leave the rhyme to your expertise though.

3) "corners" could also evoke the inside of a house, what with the kitchen mentioned just before. I think being more explicit would help.

4) no, no. I just suggested a variant. It's fine as it is, I guess.

  • 1. yup, that's the Pink Floyd twice. These were clever birds. The Clash were not bad either, while I'm at it.
SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 23:38
silencedsilenced    Fri, 04/10/2019 - 23:43

No apologies needed. I was only too glad for the opportunity to rant :D

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Sat, 02/11/2019 - 18:36
Sophia_Sophia_
   Sat, 02/11/2019 - 18:39

Done.
I replaced the video with the one with better sound
and added live performance in submitter's comment section

Sophia_Sophia_
   Sat, 02/11/2019 - 18:28

Огромное спасибо за перевод.

Sophia_Sophia_
   Sat, 02/11/2019 - 21:07
5

Great translation!

PinchusPinchus    Mon, 04/11/2019 - 00:49

>Можно верить и в отсутствии веры
Можно делать и в отсутствии дела

Можно верить и в отсутствиЕ веры
Можно делать и отсутствиЕ дела

>Но как не играй
Но как нИ играй

И запятые бы не помешали. И правильная разбивка на строки.

Люблю Наутилус, но никогда не любил эту песню. Занудно лилась из каждого утюга лет 5, не меньше. Как Пугачева.

Sophia_Sophia_
   Mon, 04/11/2019 - 05:14
Pinchus Zelenogorsky wrote:

Люблю Наутилус, но никогда не любил эту песню. Занудно лилась из каждого утюга лет 5, не меньше. Как Пугачева.

Нашли с кем сравнивать! Тьфу на Вас!  :/

Sophia_Sophia_
   Mon, 04/11/2019 - 12:21
Pinchus Zelenogorsky wrote:

И запятые бы не помешали. И правильная разбивка на строки.

Так пойдет?

(простите, что в комменты, надо убедиться что все норм, потом текст исправлю, а комментарий удалю.
--------
Круговая порука мажет, как копоть.
Я беру чью-то руку, а чувствую локоть.
Я ищу глаза, а чувствую взгляд,
Где выше голов находится зад.
За красным восходом - розовый закат.

Скованные одной цепью,
Связанные одной целью.
Скованные одной цепью,
Связанные одной.

Здесь суставы вялы, а пространства огромны.
Здесь составы смяли, чтобы сделать колонны.
Одни слова для кухонь, другие - для улиц.
Здесь сброшены орлы ради бройлерных куриц,
И я держу равнение, даже целуясь,

На
Скованных одной цепью,
Связанных одной целью.
Скованных одной цепью,
Связанных одной целью.

Можно верить и в отсутствие веры,
Можно делать и отсутствие дела.
Нищие молятся, молятся на
То, что их нищета гарантирована.

Здесь можно играть про себя на трубе,
Но как ни играй, все играешь отбой.
И если есть те, кто приходят к тебе,
Найдутся и те, кто придет за тобой,

Также
Скованные одной цепью,
Связанные одной целью.
Скованные одной цепью,
Связанные одной.

Здесь женщины ищут, но находят лишь старость,
Здесь мерилом работы считают усталость,
Здесь нет негодяев в кабинетах из кожи,
Здесь первые на последних похожи
И не меньше последних устали, быть может,

Быть
Скованными одной цепью,
Связанными одной целью.
Скованными одной цепью,
Связанными одной целью.

Скованные одной цепью,
Связанные одной целью.
Скованные одной цепью,
Связанные одной целью.

Скованные...

========

Olga KalinkinaOlga Kalinkina    Mon, 04/11/2019 - 06:10

Составы и суставы только поменяйте местами.

Sophia_Sophia_
   Mon, 04/11/2019 - 06:35

Спасибо за внимательность. Исправлено.

Sophia_Sophia_
   Mon, 04/11/2019 - 12:28

The layout of the original lyrics has been edited.
You might wish to update your translation as well.

PinchusPinchus    Mon, 04/11/2019 - 16:03

>Я беру чью-то руку, а чувствую локоть
Мне кажется, речь тут идет о том, что все стоят локоть к локтю - в одном строю.
>Здесь суставы вялы, а пространства огромны. Здесь составы смяли, чтобы сделать колонны.
Мне кажется, Бутусов тут перепутал. Не вижу смысла в таком тексте. Если я не прав - прошу объяснить.
"Здесь составы вялы, а пространства огромны. Здесь суставы смяли, чтобы сделать колонны."
Так было бы более осмысленно. Поезда медленно ползут по огромные пространствам. Люди мрут на великих стройках.

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Fri, 13/12/2019 - 01:04
PinchusPinchus    Fri, 13/12/2019 - 01:44

Ну да, Кормильцев написал, а Бутусов переврал.
"Составы вялы, а пространства огромны"
Поезда еле ползут по огромным пространствам. Вялость суставов плохо противопоставляется огромности пространств (для вялого человека и 10 метров - огромное пространство). И зачем сминать составы для колонн? Это что, утилизация поездов для железных колонн? А где у нас такие колонны из поездов?
С верой я слышу только первый из вариантов: атеизм - это тоже вера. Второй вариант не вписывается в контекст. Отсутствие веры + отсутствие дела + молящиеся на нищету нищие.

Aleksei GusevAleksei Gusev    Tue, 10/12/2019 - 11:36

Проделана серьёзная работа.

kyucatkyucat    Thu, 13/02/2020 - 12:08
5

Nice! "And even when I'm kissing, I follow drill orders…" came out especially amusing))

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Thu, 13/02/2020 - 17:48
kyucatkyucat    Thu, 13/02/2020 - 17:50

Can't think of anything that would be an improvement)) It's solid work.

arteomgabarteomgab    Wed, 01/09/2021 - 15:00
5

Гениальный перевод этой песни. Лучший из тех, что я находил.

JustForYouJustForYou    Tue, 10/05/2022 - 10:11
5

Подробно, с хорошими комментариями и разъяснениями (особенно про коричневый закат - наконец вразумительно объяснили)... Сказать мне больше и нечего - "пять" есть "пять"...